Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Rise and Fall of the Gnoman Empire

Busted Gnomes-Sheva Apelbaum

Recently, I have been noticing that some of my belongings have gone missing…a key, a comb, a favorite glove, a pencil. I never would have known where they went….if not for what happened today.

I was in the kitchen making lunch.  I took the drying salami off the hook it was hanging from and placed the shiny stainless steel hook on the counter. Then, I went about slicing the salami.

My sister came into the kitchen and spotted the hook. She picked it up, weighed it, and looked at it with an admiring look.  When she saw me staring at her, she put it back on the countertop. A few minutes later though, she walked back into the kitchen with a smug look on her face and when she thought I wasn't looking, she picked the hook up and quietly left the room.

I followed her quietly to the kitchen door and peered around the corner to see what she was up to. I saw her going to the living room, nervously checking over both of her shoulders. After reaching the red leather recliner, she coyly dropped the hook into a crevice in the chair. Seconds later, she ran out of the room and disappeared down the hallway.

I snuck into the living room and looked behind the recliner but couldn't see anything.  I went back to the kitchen got a flashlight and a large serving spoon and reached inside the crevice. I found the hook, but I also found:

  • My  missing house key
  • A comb
  • One glove
  • My Wallet
  • My favorite pencil
  • 3 headbands
  • A UNO game card
  • 3 socks
  • A hazelnut
  • A matchbox toy car
  • A tongue depressor
  • A beaded necklace
  • 3 different earrings
  • A plastic cow figurine
  • A movie ticket from “Nanny McPhee”  (dated 2/5/06)!
  • 5 dollars in loose change

The Loot-Sheva Apelbaum

I couldn't believe my eyes! It was like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow! If we go by the earliest date on any of the finds (the movie ticket) it means that my sister started collecting these items since she was four years old.  This is hard to believe; perhaps there is another explanation. So here is my theory: our neighbor happens to have several garden gnomes on her property.  These figurines are less than one foot tall and are mostly hidden among the flowers.  Several years ago, I saw my sister hanging around them, and once when she was very little, it looked like she even had a whole conversation with one of them.

So it seems to me that she either works for them or is a member of their gang.  When no one looks, she goes around the house collecting various items, delivers them to the gang or stores them for her private gnome museum.

I told my dad about what happen and at first he didn’t believe me, but after I showed him the loot, he couldn’t stop laughing. 

If you too have noticed that some of your belongings have gone missing (socks, keys, change, etc.), you may be relieved to know that this phenomenon has a simple and rational explanation... gnomes and family member collaborators!

Now where in the world did I put my earphones?


  1., I have lost a pair of dangling earrings--and my pink comb, and some favorite socks, and some money, and a book, and ... and ... I live in the land of gnomes. Yes, it's true, the only other country with perhaps more gnomes is Holland. :-) So that's it--and I never could figure it out. Thanks, Sheva!!!

  2. This sounds like a job for the International Gnome Catcher Association. I am available next week, are you?

  3. A very sweet little gnomgirl
    V aluable things she loves to hide
    I mpish enjoying her act
    T oying with another idea of opportunity
    A hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    L ovely gnoooomy!

    My neighbor has his garden full of gnoms - they knock sometimes on my window, at dawn...
    Knock, knock, knock...
    I NEVER let them in!!!

  4. It’s a good thing that you don’t let them in, I am sure they would love to collect some of your work. I hear from Shachar that Germany is full of them. Any interesting Gnome stories from your childhood?

    Thanks you for the beautiful acrostic! I’ll show it to Avi.

  5. Your Mom has been looking for those socks!